There's Sanity Then There Is Battle
by DragonLady626
Summary: A tactician on the verge of a breakdown, secret crushes, a terrified Pegasus knight and hordes of women claiming to be Eliwoods wives after an arena battle may the mayhem begin...
1. From Bad To Worse

First Fire Emblem Fan fic and I hopeyou guys like it.I justhave one thing I'd like your opinions on and that is when I describe Eliwood fighting I just don't like how I did it but that is the only thing I could think of at the time. But if I don't get any bad comments on it, well I'll just keep it the way it is.

Chapter 1: From Bad to Worse

Raquel's head throbbed after a very long day. She had to not only tend to Farina's wild and crazy pegasus while Farina was sick. But to slave through the aftermath of an Arena battle that was immensely tiring. While the leader of the troop of bridigands was literally snoring in the middle of the road.

The battle today was simple except for the surprises that came after a sneaky troop of snipers arrived that left poor sweet Florina fleeing to the mountain peaks along with Heath. Who along with his wyvern was forced off the mountain by Florina's loud shrieking.

And then there was the fiasco of the lady Lyndis herself attempting to charge up those cliffs to yell at Heath. Who's only crime was the flee to the same cliff as Florina.

At the time Raquel was about to start sobbing at the futility of this as Eliwood, Hector, and Marcus took out the Snipers. Then Bartre, the most enthusiastic brawler of the bunch stopped and stared at the building a block away. It was an arena.

Bartre was staring at it as if it were the Holy Grail. While all of the men suddenly polished their weapons and charged for the arena. Leaving Raquel, Florina and Lady Lyndis in the dust. While Serra chased after them carrying a fancy new staff she wanted to try.

Little Nils sat down, from his vantage in the trees he could see that their tactician was ready to break down and cry. He recalled her battle plan and he now realized that she had intended them not to go to the arena.

She had made sure that they were as far as humanly possible from the arena while still being able to lure out enemies one at a time. Nils decided to climb out of the trees and play to Raquel.

Raquel finally coaxed Florina from the cliff that she and her pegasus had made a temporary roost out of. Florina still looked pale from the encounter with Heath. But Lyn was getting her to calm down. Raquel mouthed to Lyn that she was to go with her to the Arena. And Lyn started leading her.

Raquel nearly jumped out of her skin when she found Nils behind her suddenly. "Lady Raquel are you okay?" Nils asked laughing.

"Yes, Nils, I'm surprised no one carted you off to the arena," Raquel started.

"Not yet any way excuse me - - Nils could you please come play for us?" Heath asked politely from atop his wyvern.

"Sure give me a minute," Nils twirled out to play a lively tune on his flute. That would hopefully help Raquel last the day. And then climbed on the wyvern to the arena.

Raquel slowly made her way to the arena. On her way Lowen and the other were giving her papers that had what they fought in the Arena already on it.

Raquel made her way to the arena seating. She was settled just in time to watch Lord Hector make short work of a knight.

In some ways she enjoyed arena fighting. Getting to see how much everyone has improved was a special treat for Raquel. Everyone was a sight to see.

Lord Hector seemed born to fight in the Arena. With his powerfully built well trained body. For Raquel's starved imagination it was easy to imagine the muscles rippling in his back. And his smile. To her it seemed to be saying to the crowd "please send another one nut, I want a challenge". He then strode off after getting the monetary prize of 2200 gold.

Then came in Lord Eliwood. His elegantly refined manner clear in everything he did. Even down to his weapon. The rapier was held firmly in his hand as he waited for his opponent.

Raquel's breath halted in fear as a man strode out wearing an iron mask and wielding a deadly looking axe. "A berserker" Raquel breathed. "Lord Eliwood be careful that is a berserker down there!" Raquel yelled over the crowd.

The volume of the crowd cheering left Raquel unsure whether Lord Eliwood heard her. The man in charge of admitting Lord Eliwood asked whether he would like to surrender. The crowd gew deafening when Lord Eliwood declined and faced his opponent.

He bowed and then the fight commenced. Apparently the administrator allowed the people from our group to come and watch.

To watch Lord Eliwood fight, was like watching a master chef in a crowded kitchen. Weaving and spinning so he could get to the prize in the stove at the perfect moment and take his prize.

For Raquel it felt like the longest 4 minutes of her life. And when Eliwood landed the final blow. Raquel nearly passed out she held her breath so long. The young man beside her laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Tense fight. Hm, milady?" he said in a slow sweet drawl and then walked off to join the crowd.

Raquel sat still trying to lose the sensation that her mind was reeling, and just missed out on something. She made her way down the stairs and found herself in the middle of a mob of girls and women.

And in the middle of it was Lord Eliwood looking like a fish out of water. Lord Eliwood was being carted off somewhere and trying to reason with them.

Surprisingly Raquel found Lyn, not trying to rescue Eliwood as she would do normally. But leaning against a corner looking quite pale. "Lady Lyndis?" Raquel said softly as most of the women were gone now.

"Oh, Elmine," Lyndis said reverently.

"Lady Lyndis snap out of it! What is going on?" Raquel yelled.

"Eliwood just won more than the monetary" Kent intervened.

"The women?" Raquel guessed still unsure of what was going on.

"Were the berserker's many wives," Kent explained.

"Uhuh" Raquel had a bad feeling about where this was going. "And now I hope they are going to bury him and have happy lives?" she said hoping that the bad feeling wasn't to do with Eliwood.

"They say that since Eliwood beat their husband they are to be married to him . . . " Kent said calmly.

"A-wha?" Raquel responded dumbfounded.


	2. Of Magic And Serra

Phoenix Lord Though Raquel does like the experience it is the fact the crowds are so loud that puts her off, because she prefers to watch them all fight. And I didn't know about Fiora liking Eliwood...I need to see their supports them, but...corcerning Ninian she is already (spoiler censor) my apologies but if you've beaten Eliwoods story you already know.

K-G Forever Thanks for the compliments and I will get to that in the third chapter. I am sad to say that I am not going to get much of a chance to get everyone in the second chapter. I can tell you the characters that aren't going to be in the story, Harken, and Geitz.

Ch. 2. Of Magic And Serra

Why didn't that happen to him? Sain thought sulking as the mob of girls and women ran past him. Carrying a freaked out Eliwood. All he could hear were the women gushing about Eliwood and Eliwood's frantic pleas for help.

Sain walked into the lobby to find the lovely fair lady Raquel talking to Kent and his Lady looking ill. The Lady Lyndis seemed peaked and Raquel looked more than a little flustered.

"Awha - - no, no, no! N-now is not the time for some large multi personed ceremony a-and." Raquel said hyperventilating.

"I AM NOT GOING TO BE YOUR GUINEA PIG!" Lord Hector bursted at Serra.

Lord Hector had about had it today. First with Serra demanding a pail of gems. Then the weird purple haired pegasus knight getting worked up over something then running away. Finally his best friend getting carted off by a horde of women who want to marry him.

And now this.

"Lord Hector, please, and you're not a guinea pig, you're a willing volunteer in furthering my staff usage and repidoire" Serra whined.

"But I am not willing!" Lord Hector yelled.

"Sure you are you are right - - " Serra said smiling.

"Serra, don't," Raquel ordered walking out of the arena.

"But Raquel where else am I going to get such a fine opportunity?" Serra whined.

"Get an actual guinea pig," Raquel told her losing her patience.

"But what if it is some miracle healing staff?" Serra whined.

"Fine! Excuse me a minute!" Raquel spat. Then walked off.

Raquel came back holding a baby pig. "It's a bit small to eat Raquel," Serra told Raquel blankly.

"Use it," Raquel said coldly.

"Use what?" Serra said playing with the piglet.

"The bloody staff Serra!" Raquel howled.

Serra held up the staff and said the word that activated the staff "Warpus". Suddenly a bright light shone, and Serra shut her eyes. When she opened them everyone was gone. "Warpus" Serra said without holding up the staff...

"Oh! It's a warp staff!" Serra realized. And looked around to make sure nobody saw Raquel, Lyndis, Hector, and the piglet disappear.

The piglet found itself in its pigpen. And it unsure of what happened it decided to forget about it and went straight for the slop bucket.

"What the hell!" Hector yelled as he was suddenly floating in midair and then falling into the middle of the nearby lake.

After the momentary dizziness Raquel found herself in a pile of garbage around corner from the arena. She went back to find Serra looking under boxes and in boxes for what Raquel had no idea.

"It was a warp staff Serra," Raquel told her picking an egg shell out of her hair.

"Whoo! You stink! Did anyone else land there?" Serra asked holding her nose.

"No," Raquel answered scowling.

"Uuh... Raquel?" Florina asked timidly coming out of the Arena.

"Yes?" she answered nicely.

"Where is Lady Lyndis?" Florina asked innocently.

"Uhh . . ." Raquel and Serra nervously responded in unison.

_Plop._ "What the --"

"Huh?" a young woman murmured when she heard another plop. Coming from the general direction of the ridiculously large pudding bowl! She stared when she realized what she was seeing.

There was a young woman with long teal hair sitting in the pudding bowl. It took some quick guessing but the lady seemed to be none other than the Lady Lyndis herself who was currently covered in chocolate pudding.

"Excuse me, could you help me out?" she said looking embarrassed.

"Sure," the young woman answered offering her hand. "My name is Daneesha."

"My name is Lyn, are you Merlinus's new assistant?" Lyn politely remarked.

"Yep, though I know my way around a sword in a pinch, and I wash clothes for free if anyone, including yourself likes," Daneesha said brimming with energy.

"Uhh . . ." Lyn responded looking at her hands and only guessing what her face and hair looked like.

"But let's get you washed up first."

Lyn managed a weak smile and let Daneesha lead her over to the lake.

_Well, isn't this great,_ thought Lord Hector bitterly while trying to keep afloat in the middle of the lake. Another fine point on this annoying day. And only Elmine herself knew what was happening onshore. But Lord Hector knew this, once he was on dry land he was either going to murder Serra, or send her packing back to Ostia with a note to his brother explaining why.

"Do you see anybody?" Serra yelled to Raquel who was standing on the roof of a nearby building.

"I think I see Lady Lyndis, she's alright Florina," Raquel answered still peering through the telescope. "Oh shit! Florina go get Lord Hector -- NOW!"

"I - I can't," Florina answered trembling.

"Listen if you want to see Lord Hector drown because of some stupid fear Florina, I am personally going to hold you and Serra responsible! Besides if you want to thank him now's the time!" Raquel shouted slapping her pegasus's rump. "He's in the middle of the lake!"

"Why couldn't you ask Heath?" Serra asked from the ground. "Because to be honest, he's definitely gonna drown now and I won't get my jewels!"

"She's as bad as Farina," Raquel groaned from the rooftop. "Do you see him anywhere Serra! And have you no faith!"

_It had to be her, didn't it?_ Florina whimpered inwardly as she sped to Hector's said. All Florina knew other than Serra had tried one of her staffs out was that Lady Lyndis was at the encampment and Lord Hector was in the middle of the lake.

Lady Raquel through did not seem too happy with Serra. And was really testy with her. And then she got downright scary.

Florina slowed down her pegasus when she saw a blue haired man trying to keep afloat. "Uhh . . . hey!" Florina said weakly.

Florina could almost hear Serra and Raquel yelling at her telling her to speak up. Florina took a deep shuddery breath and another that wasn't so shuddery. "HEY!" Florina yelled startling herself at the sheer volume and power she had in her voice.

Who was that? Lord Hector wondered as he turned around to find someone riding a pegasus coming to get him. Though it sounded a bit like the teal haired pegasus knight Fiora. But he knew she was back at the encampment.

It can't be money hungry Farina, because she was sick. That left the odd purple haired one that seemed scared of everything.

"Uhh, here," the purple haired girl said offering the handle of a handy javelin. "Get ready to step into the saddle shoe OK?"

To what? Hector thought as he watched her push weight down on the other end of the weapon and found himself in midair. He reached the saddle show when the javelin broke. He was falling back when the girls arm snapped out and got his arm.

Hector straightened himself out and then eased himself onto the saddle.

Florina took a deep breath to slow her furiously pounding heart then flew back to dry land.


	3. The Sane One

Ch. 3 - The Sane One

"Yay she did it she did it, go Florina!" Raquel howled as she gleefully twirled down the stairs of the inn she was on top of. "Whoo!" she yelled as she tripped over her feet.

"Whoa," the guy from the arena grunted as he suddenly found himself catching the blond-haired lady from earlier and then falling back himself.

Oof

Unh

Ow!

People yowled as they got crashed into at the bottom of the stairs.

"Hi!" the lady said with an embarrassed smile. "Uhh my name is Raquel." She then got up and gave everyone a hand up.

"Jonas," he said with a smile. "Nice to meet you and thanks!" Raquel smiled as she ran out of the inn to solve another potentially fatal situation.

This was getting out of hand, Eliwood figured as he managed to finally get a moment to himself. It was never this bad when they were at the encampment, though a few people never failed to give him the creeps.

As useful as they were, Jaffar and Karel somehow seemed to put him on edge though he never expressed it. Karel seemed to mutter death threats to those who got in his way. And Jaffar. The only people that weren't frightened of him were the members of the group who were former Black Fang and Matthew. Then there was Raven but he wasn't gonna go there.

Eliwood sighed deeply as he sat down in the bushes he was supposed to be relieving himself in. Most of them were even protesting about allowing him his privacy doing that. But finally the most reasonable woman of the group stepped in and allowed him to have his privacy, as long as she could talk to him.

"You didn't know about the results if you won did you?" she asked softly with a light accent.

"Not really."

"Then I really must apologize for them," she sighed and then continued. "They aren't normally like that, it was just today the arena . . . "

"What happens?"

"The girls tend to be called 'Arena Groupies' and I had to hold the youngest ones back to prevent them from chasing after any of the cavaliers or the blue haired sir that did very well."

"I'm sure Hector would have loved that," Eliwood said laughing, just imagining Hector's reaction to that.

"Somehow I doubt that," she said lightly. "What is your name, might I ask?"

"Eliwood," he answered calmly.

"Oh my name is Lennia, pleasure to meet you," she responded.

"If this sounds rude I apologize but you don't seem -- " he wondered hesitantly.

"Like a groupie?" she added.

"Yes," he answered softly.

"I'm not, but my sister was before she ran away," Lennia added seemingly lost in memory.

"Elder?" Eliwood guessed."

"Younger. So when she left I looked for her but I came back to get the husband," she answered.

"What did he do?" he asked having a bad feeling about where it was going.

"He started beating them and I learned later that he beat Daneesha up but good the night she left," she recalled coldly.

"...What did you do?"

"I killed him, in an arena battle."

"Then what?"

"I met Drew, he was smitten with me but he wasn't for me, he kept trying though and all the time in the first few weeks of knowing him I had to slay the various men who after marrying the girls started abusing them and after some convincing I had him marry the girls and then they were all okay."

"He never hurt them."

"And he loved them all. But, I must ask this, are you already betrothed?"

"No..." he answered hesitantly. Though he wasn't committed he couldn't help but picture Lyn.

"But . . . " Lennia added wryly.

"Hm?"

"That doesn't account for any lady or ladies you may have an interest in."

"Are you some kind of Magic-user?" Eliwood asked wondering if she cast any spell to read his mind.

"No, if suggest that again I'll cut you down. It is just a gut feeling," she said calmly.

"Hm, so then what are you going to do about me?" Eliwood asked wondering about the questions.

"It's not a question of me persay. The ladies are the ones who decide ultimately, though personally I'd rather they find their own individual men."

"You mean it's not a religion?"

"Just their decision."

A sudden mischievious Raquel-like idea sprang into his mind. "What if me and a few friends get some guys together and prehaps pair them -- "

"Where exactly are you going to find that man eligible bachelors! There are nowhere near that many in this town!" Lennia gaped as she turned to look at Eliwood.

"How many women are there anyways?"

"Fifty last Arena battle."

"You make it sound like there are more . . . "

"There are more, like, say about 10 more, one is the cleric that you would have heal you if you didn't know one of your own. The others have various jobs."

"60?" Eliwood blanched as he said it. There weren't that many people at the encampment let alone men. Even less ones that were single, that left out Dorcas as well as Pent.

"That sounds about right."

"I think I need to speak to Lady Raquel."

"The tactician?"

"Why, yes, you know her?"

"She helped us out a while ago so, I think I owe her enough to help you and your troupe get on your wayt with minimal groupies.

"Thank you."

"Hey, are you -- " one of the ladies yelled.

" -- done back there?" Merlinus scowled at the rock Lady Lyndis was changing clothes behind. He had been having a perfectly normal day until Lyndis materialized landing in the pudding bowl. Now he had to not only make more pudding, but he was also going to lose his assistant for the afternoon as she did laundry.

"Almost!" Daneesha yelled and then went back to talking to Lady Lyndis.

"A mob of . . . did they look hurt?"

"No . . . they were fine enough to cart Eliwood off," Lyndis answered spitefully as she fixed her red cloak.

"Did one of them have black hair and really light blue eyes?" Daneesha asked urgently.

"I don't know. Why are you asking this?" Lyn asked as she walked out.

"Nothing really, I'll go get laundry then."

"Hm . . ." Lyndis muttered suspiciously.

"Ahem." Merlinus cleared his throat as Lady Lyndis was about to run off. "Since you are the one who made a mess of my pudding, you milady are to be the one to help me make another batch."

Marcus stepped out of the armory to find Lady Raquel covered in garbage, Serra cowering on a balcony shouting about how invaluable she was as a dripping Lord Hector was shouting about how he was going to kill her as he was shaking the support beam. And Lady Florina was staring at the lake as if in shock.

All the while the leader of the troop of bridigands was snoring in the middle of the road.

"Sir Marcus, since we have had a change in battle plans, could you please take care of the boss," Raquel shouted from where she stood getting ready to reason with Hector. Which compared to Raquel trying to reason with a wyvern with a ballista bolt in its side.

"Yes, milady," Marcus said as he charged toward the boss. Lowen joined in and they promptly took care of him. Lowen landed the finishing blow amid much lecturing from Sir Marcus.

Everyone stopped to watch the fight giving Serra enough time to get off the balcony and start running away. Hector stopped trying to break the support beam when he saw her bolt around the corner, pink pigtails flying.

Hector charged around the corner after Serra, and Raquel sighed as she watched them go. Hopefully they will tire out before they get to the encampment, Raquel prayed. Or Lord Hector will have some help in his cause.

Florina sat on her pegasus and rode back to the encampment. She tried to remain calm when Heath joined her in the air. Heath then slowed down. And Florina sped around looking for Lyn.

Lyn had finally finished making the pudding and was just outting the fresh batch out when Florina barreled out of the sky, landed then tackled Lyn with a loud "Lady Lyndis!" sending the bowl flying to the ground.

Plop

Florina looked up to find Raven standing before them scowling with the pudding bowl on his head. His face was entirely covered along with the upper half of his body in chocolate pudding.

"Lyn . . ." Florina whimpered, hugging Lyndis.


End file.
